My ex has supervised visitation, do I have to let him use my car seats? (Arizona)?
My soon-to-be-ex-husband has supervised visitation every Saturday from 9a-3p and there are two supervisors which alternate.
The first week the kids were going with him to one supervisor’s house (about 70 miles away) and he showed up to get the kids without car seats. I let him borrow mine.
The second week I met him at the other supervisor’s house. He didn’t have car seats, so they didn’t go anywhere.
This weekend the kids will go 70 miles again and he called saying he doesn’t have (and cannot afford) car seats. He has NEVER paid child support and he lives with his brother for free and doesn’t pay for anything (I pay all our joint bills to keep things from being shut off) so I don’t know how he can work full time and have no money. He wants to borrow my car seats again.
I’ve been trying to find an Arizona law or something that clarifies whether he needs to provide his own car seats, or if I have to let him use mine. I’m truly afraid that he will decide not to return them. He has already started taking things from me saying they were bought with "his" money.
Can I just deny the car seats and tell him to go buy some before he can take the kids???
Also our oldest is 5, but she still sits in a booster seat. Can I not let her go with him without a car seat or do I have to let her go because state law says she doesn’t have to have one?
I’m divorcing him because he cheated on me ove rand over again. And the final straw was when he pointed a gun at me because I told him I wanted a divorce. So don’t tell me I’m not an adult. I have been trying to raise three children and a god-damned monkey of a husband for 6 years and I finally gave up on him every changing. Just answer the question and don’t judge me for doing the best thing I could for my kids.
Didn’t you wonder why the visitation was SUPERVISED?!?!?! That was a court order.
The supervisor comes with him to pick up the kids.
More Car Seats
10 Comments
Other Links to this Post
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
By Sue C, September 12, 2011 @ 2:16 pm
Basically it boils down to your children’s safety! I DO however understand where you’re coming from in that he just may keep them, then you’ll be out the car seats. I KNOW they are expensive! IF you had an atty. for your divorce, I’d contact your atty. & get the ans. from someone who would be able to give you a correct answer. I do however understand your dilemma, but I also know your children’s safety is also at steak w/this question too. See what someone can tell you who can give you a correct logical answer. You could always be there when he brings them back, so you can MAKE SURE you do get them back….The best to you…:)
By Cassius, September 12, 2011 @ 2:16 pm
Why did you divorce the father of your children ? What did you expect ? Profit ??
Just give him the damn seats or borrow him your car.
Think of the children ferchristsake.
You were not an adult in the marriage, at least try to be an adult now.
Now iam feeling really stupid for possibly falling for a trolling question, it surely is one o.O ?
By bandaid_46, September 12, 2011 @ 2:16 pm
Oh, for gosh sakes, isn’t it more important that your kids are safe? Yes, he should get car seats, but he hasn’t, and the kids need to be safe. Stop being so petty and just make sure that you get them back when he drops them off.
And what is the point of having supervised visits if he is allowed to drive the kids to and from their houses by himself???? THAT’S what I would be asking someone about!
By benthere, September 12, 2011 @ 2:16 pm
im sure u can refuse to let them go without car seats. But who looks like the bad one then? i used to let my ex borrow my car seat whenever he came to get our kids. Who are u hurting by not letting him? chances are ur kids. Would u rather he take them without seats its ur kids safety we r discussing here not money.
By robsmom, September 12, 2011 @ 2:16 pm
there are organizations that you can contact that will donate seats to him. Google it because I’m not sure who they are. The guy sounds ‘lost’, but at least he wants to be a part of his kids lives. And why wouldn’t he return them, he has to return the kids!
By Tonia, September 12, 2011 @ 2:16 pm
I would go ahead and let him use the carseats. I know it is hard to do that and he should buy his own sets but you need, at least, that peace of mind that your kids are safe in the car. I do believe by law he is supposed to have his own or you can refuse visits but you would need to decide what is best for you babies–using a familiar car seat and seeing daddy or not getting to see daddy? Only you can answer that.
By Hisamazingwife, September 12, 2011 @ 2:16 pm
The car seats are the kids’, and should be shared between you guys. When the parent has the child, they also should have the seat.
I bought my own because I had a similar problem. I left and had no money, I was working but I had to obtain normal living money before extra money was available. My ex had my daugter’s car seat, but refused to let me use it, saying that it was his. So, I had to borrow a friends.
How dumb does that sound?
You sound like my ex.
Give him the darn seats, and protect your children.
By zq00132, September 12, 2011 @ 2:16 pm
It seems like you are thinking more of how to get your way than your kids. Isn’t their safety more important than if he can borrow your car seats???
By Sue A, September 12, 2011 @ 2:16 pm
I realize that whatever caused the divorce has left you angry. and i don’t blame you for not wanting to "lose" the car seats. but at this point, in being an honest mom (not an angry ex) do your kids benefit from seeing their father? having dad in their life? if you feel your kids do benefit from seeing their dad, then just let him borrow the car seats. after all, this is what’s best for the kids and not about how you can get revenge. just make sure you are there to remove the car seats from the car when the kids are dropped off. why are his visits supervised? could he be a harm to your children? if so, THEN i would use the car seats as a way to keep the kids out of his reach.
By mischievious, September 12, 2011 @ 2:16 pm
My first question is If he has "SUPERVISED" visitation why is he picking up the kids to take them to the visitations?
They would not let him pick them up and drive 70 miles to a Supervised visitation center.
As said before the kids safety is the most important thing to think of.
I would not let him take my kids unless he provides them with safe travel. It may sound petty but he needs to be responsible as well as you.
You can take him back to court so the judge can order him to get car seats. It also shows the Judge what you are dealing with. Sometimes you don’t even have to go to court. Your attorney can file paperwork for the judge to see and can rule on. You are looking out for your children’s safety.